Prepared by Ps Sbanga – HHI Brisbane Church
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Husbands
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Wives
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1.Love your wives – Eph 5:25, Col 3:19 - unselfishly dedicate self to doing what is best for your wife, no matter how she treats you (Agape – God kind of love)
2.Add immense value of beauty - Eph 5:27 – In the same way Christ does to the church. This is inner and outer beauty referencing unmerited value addition.
3.Be Considerate & understanding – 1 Peter 3:7 – Be thoughtful towards her. Do not make impulsive, emotional responses and decisions. In consideration, understand that she is a weaker partner. Take time to study and know her, and in your relation, deal with her with wisdom.
4.Be soberminded – Titus 2:6-7 – show self restraint and gravity
5.Sound speech Titus 2:8 – let your speech be graceful and not that which is provocative.
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- Submission – Eph 5:22 & 24, Col 3:18 and 1Peter 3:1 - To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of your husband in All circumstances. This submission demands good godly behavior in public & private, coupled with purity and reverence.
- Respect – Eph 5:33 – Regard with honor or esteem – Do not embarrass him in whatever way, public or private.
- Beauty – 1 Peter 3:3-6 – Be physically attractive and more importantly have a gentle and quiet spirit, the inner beauty as of women of old
4. Love your Husband – Titus 2:4 – The Agape love of God – the love that does not seek self.
- Chaste – Titus 2:5 – Morally pure in thought or conduct; decent and modest
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A Review of Proverbs 31
Proverbs 31 provides a distinct expectation of a godly wife who believes in Jesus. This is an extract from the NIV Bible. Note that the comments in [xxx] have been added.
1. 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
2. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
3. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
4. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. [She is not lazy, but a hard worker]
5. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
6. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. [She does not love sleep, works hard – she goes for shifts etc.]
7. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. [She does not blow all the money, but saves it and strategically grows her wealth]
8. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. [She trains herself to meet challenges to her dream. She is not held by limitations of the now]
9. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. [she recognises her success, but does not allow her present success to cloud her future dream, she remains a hard worker, sleeping less].
10. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. [She is skilful]
11. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. [She deals harshly with poverty, thus applies biblical principles to ensure that poverty does not follow her].
12. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. [Changes of seasons, e.g. the current economic meltdown, does not intimidate her ‘coz she has established a foundation that cannot be shaken].
13. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. [Her physical appearance is that of royalty]
14. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
15. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
16. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
17. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
18. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
In as much as there is no specific chapter in the bible that addresses a husband the way it has done to a wife in Proverbs 31, it is noteworthy to realise that for a wife to function 100% to what is stated above, the husband needs to provide unquestionable leadership that unlocks the potential wrapped up in his wife.
It is an undeniable fact that we all need training in the marriage covenant if we are to excell in it. Love alone can not sustain a marriage. We need training on how to sustain love in marriage. We spend 3-4yrs post high school at college training towards our future professions. After training we usually do extra short courses to enhance our competence. If we land the dream job, we continue to do inhouse training! All these efforts ensure that we excell in our professions! Is it not surprising then that we do not invest the same towards this major project called marriage. If we don't then it is folly for anyone to expect that our marriages will reach their full potential
On this I challenge you to read biblical books on marriage, attend marriage seminars, outings and conferences. Your marriage will have a new lease of life.
Sexual Responsibility to one another
Sex is an extremely important aspect of marriage such that effort has to be put to ensure that it is maintained alive, consistent, exciting and fulfilling all the time. With strong sexual union any couple can achieve anything. Usually, sexual union is the pinnacle of a very good functioning relationship. When all things are functioning, this aspect of the relationship is automatic. It is important to note that God blessed sex in marriage for our enjoyment and fulfilment. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says ‘But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband’. This means if you feel like having sex, simple have it with your God-given spouse instead of having it anywhere with anyone, as is the culture today.
Below are facts stated in scripture about our sexual responsibility to one another.
1 Corinthians 7
- 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband
- 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
- 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control
- 10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
COUPLES OUTING
On the weekend of 12/13 June 2009 we will be having a couples outing in the outskirts of the city of Brisbane. It will be great time for couples to go out and pray, play and learn. We will have among other things, horse riding, mountain climbing, eating and ofcourse interactive seminars. The cost of this outing is less than $100 for a couple. To attend, please send us an email. More details will be made available in the church bulletin.
